Justin - Pt 2....

So, after loads of opinions and advice on the Justin situation, I'd somehow convinced myself that I could be friends with him, hang out in group settings, occasional phone conversations, etc...hmm...so let me tell you how that worked out....

Justin and I had our first phone conversation last week...it was pretty laid back...talked about furniture and of course, I inquired about the separation, the living situation, the reasoning behind it all, etc....during the conversation, I felt nothing for him, I didn't feel that spark that felt when we first met...so in some way I thought to myself, hmmm, maybe I can be his friend without any issues...so, the following day, Justin invites me and my friends to a baseball game...I agreed, so it was me, Justin and my friend....

Ok, so we get to the baseball game, we greet one another, get to our seats...everything was cool...as the game progresses, we're chatting, laughing, etc...I find myself having lustful thoughts about this man..anyone that knows me, knows that I'm a very touchy-feely person, however, on this day, the only thing I touched was my purse...why you ask?....because I wanted him and wanted him badly...at that moment, I realized that I was a fool to think that I could be friends with him, that we could hang out, ummm, not so much...and to make matters worse, you know how the camera comes around to all the fans, I didn't want to be seen with him, which further let me know that this little interaction could be no more....so the game ends and he drives us to my car, in the front seat (I'm nosy), I see a realtor book...so I casually say, "oh, you're moving", he says "I looked at some houses today"....so, the optimist in me wants to believe that he's taking a step in the right direction, however, there's a part of me that wonders if him and his wife were looking for a house together...LOL...nutz right...to be continued...

So, since the game, I've struggled with trying to find a balance between being firm with Justin while also trying not to be a major bia-bia...my thoughts are that I don't want to just be mean/rude to him or turn him completely off, in the event that he is actually making progress, however, I want him to take me seriously about not being interested in being a mistress...lol...so, he texts me asking me what I was cooking for dinner one night...my first thought was to say "whatever you wife is cooking", but again, trying to keep that balance, I go ahead and tell him what I'm cooking...after that, he says "did you forget to invite me"...I say "no, actually it was intentional"...he says that my response made him sad...I say "you're not the only one"...lol...I felt kinda bad about that communication, but hey, I had to be firm...

The last communication from Justin was a happy birthday text message...seeing as he's not on facebook, I must admit I found it quite thoughtful and sweet that he remembered my birthday...my only response to him was "thanks for remembering, Justin"....one day, maybe one day, the text I get from Justin will say "hey, I filed for divorce today" or "I moved out"...until then, I will respond to his random messages (I'm sure he'll send them from time to time) with one or two word answers and if he gets out of pocket, I'll have to revert back to being firm....stay tuned on this...