Justin
Justin, Justin, Justin...aahhh, where do I begin...LOL...ok, Dallas has day parties pretty much every weekend and I attend them because I enjoy them, almost more than the club!...ok, so I get to the day party yesterday and I walk in and see this guy sitting solo...being friendly, I go over, introduce myself and ask him if he wants to come sit with me...I was thinking that maybe he was new to the area and got invited by someone, so I was trying to make him feel more comfy...so he comes to sit with me, I order some food and an adult bev....we begin talkin...yea, I'm kind of checkin him out cause he's a cutie...to me anyway...he had this kinda Mos Def, Common vibe about himself...+dimples..yummy!...naw, he don't look like Common, if he did...hmph...anywho...he just had that kinda vibe goin, so as we talk, I begin grillin him....askin all the important stuff....in the midst of our convo I learn that Justin is 32, has a 3yo son, has been married for 2.5yrs, separated for 6months, but still lives in the house with the wife...WTH?!?!....according to Justin, he lives on one end of the house and her on the other...
I also learn that Justin is of West Indian descent, from NY, oldest of 3, he's a sales/marketing manager, his parents have been married 38yrs and also live here in Dallas...so of course I ask him why doesn't he just go and live with his parents....his answer is that he doesn't want to disrespect their home by coming and going...late nights, etc....I'm like hmm...well, this is interesting....he pretty much has that East Coast attitude of...this is my situation either deal with it or not...which I can respect, even though I don't like it....so Justin and I's conversation goes on for another 3+ hours...we discuss the dating situation in Dallas, how the women are money hungry and how the men try to stunt..which I've actually seen in action...sidebar - do you know these fools actually rent cars down here on the weekend to impress chicks...smh...ok, I'm back....so the night ends...Justin picks up my tab, which I shol appreciate..lol...he walks me to my car and asks for my num...
Ok guys...here is where I have my moral dilemma...can I give Justin my number and we remain friends or should I just walk away from this man that I had great conversation with...what to do, what to do...so, when he asks for my number I say to him...Justin, I can see how this is gonna play out....we'll start hangin out as friends, I'll either fall for you or you for me or both and then in 2months you'll tell me that you and your wife have reconciled or she'll be pregnant and then I'll be drunk on the corner sangin the blues...lol....he cracks UP....so...I hesitantly give Justin my number...why, I'm not sure, maybe because I felt a real connection with him, I enjoyed his vibe and I'm thinkin that this could be someone that I can hang with, but I'd have to keep my emotions/feelings in check...hmm...I don't know...tough call..
So needless to say, Justin and I aren't ready to end this night...maybe because we both know this may be the one and only time we get to spend like this...who knows...so I follow him to the gas station so that we can figure out where we would head next, i.e., another bar, lounge, etc...we end up sittin in the gas station parking lot...in our separate cars, talkin for another hour...crazy huh?!?!...so I get to a point where I tell Justin that I need to go...I go through this whole, I really enjoyed your company, it was great meeting you, blah, blah, blah...this fool says, I feel like you're breaking up with me...LOL...I was dying....I finally pull off....really not wanting to, if I can be honest with you guys...I can right...ok, I wanted to invite Justin back to my place, crack open a bottle of wine and let the rest be history...LMAO...but, obviously that wouldn't have been good...so, I leave asking God why He's punishing me...LOL...bringin this tasty treat to me and I can't indulge...ugh...
I get home and get comfy and Justin calls...yea, I'm excited...he just wants to make sure I made it in safely and that was the end of that....so I lay there and think about him and why this has to be his situation...this is driving me nuts...as I'm laying there thinking...my phone rings again...and it's Mike...who?!?!...LOL...just playin...Mike says, hey, are you sleep...I say yea..he says...are you dreaming about me...I say ummm....no...LMAO....why do these folks want you to lie to them?!?!?....
So today I wake up, still thinkin of Justin...pissed off...I call my friends and ask their perspective...I got split advice...proceed with caution and stay away.....maybe Justin won't call and we just had our one night of connection and I'll soon forget all about him....what are your thoughts?!?!?!
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WOW!!!! So I am digging this whole blog thing!!! Thanks for sharing...sadly enough, with Justin....the whole wife thing throws a monkey wrench in anything solid....I've always been told..."if you can't build a solid foundation, how do you expect the walls to stand...pure tomfoolery"!!!! I think CR we get so caught up in a "longing" that we see what it is we want to see...I know I'm guilty. I tell people all the time, I'm not lonely, but longing something makes me "sleep with him just ONE Mo'E time", longing makes me "cook for him one last omelet", longing has me "washing his clothes along with mine"....so you see longing is what a lot of single women have! Sure we're independent, sure we are strong and black and confident, oh but LONGING comes along and says we need....
ReplyDeleteI pray that God answers ur heart...b/c at this point in the game women need to be following their hearts....pray for my heart's answers as well...
Love ya!!!
Quantina
I like Justin, but not his situation. There are questions you'll have to get answered, ie. How long is he planning to be in his situation? Does he still love his wife and see them possibly getting back together?
ReplyDeleteMe personally, I think it's a dangerous game to play with the heart. It's funny how we say we won't get to close to a guy that we have some kind of feelings for and we're just friends. Then time goes on and we're spending time, enjoying his company and wanting more. So then you ask him, when are you getting a divorce and he doesn't know Or the famous excuse for not leaving is " I have to be there for my kids".
It's going to be hard to be his friend when you clearly see that there's an attraction between you both. You could play it out and see how it goes. Girl, this is a tough one that you'll have to pray about. Remember "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present our request to GOD". Philipians 4:6
Sherrice
Thanks ladies...Q, I agree with the "longing" aspect...makes you want to answer that text (which I just did) when you know you shouldn't be communicating at all...I think I'm waiting for the right opportunity to tell Justin to hit me up when he gets his situation togetha...like, if he asks me out or somethin...lol...Sherrice, you're right, those are questions I should ask...btw...the kid is from a previous relationship...so he really has no excuse...at least not one that I can see...thanks for the Scripture!
ReplyDeleteemail! No Phone Numbers or facebooks!
ReplyDeleteJustin won't be so adoreable when his wife calls you and ask why you are texting her man at 2:30 a.m.
ReplyDeleteIf he were not living in the same house as her, I might say proceed with caution but Justin has a situation that only ends up bad for you.
And you have been in Dallas 4 weeks and you are already able to meet men you find interesting. So that tells me a lovely young lady like yourself has options so pace yourself and there will be other Justins without the you lose situation.
-Travis
Really!! Guys rent cars on the weekend to impress women. That's kind of depressing. I'm not sure if I feel sorry for the women who are impressed or the guys that think they need to impress women with a nice car.
ReplyDeleteTravis...you are absolutely right, midnight wife calls are not the bi-ness...nor do I have time for that...and I agree, if he lived seperatly, it'd be a little different, but I'd still be a bit hesistant..."you lose" situation is right...and Ryan, yes, these people do the most in Dallas and I agree...who's the real victim?!? Lol!
ReplyDelete