"When I was seventeen I did what people told me..did what my father said, and let my mother mold me...."
So, while here on vacation I had dinner with a friend of mine, Craig, and his new girlfriend Sheila. I have known Craig for years. He is what you would call an over achiever and has done really well for himself and he is only in his 30s. While I had never met Sheila personally, I have heard all great things about her. Meeting her, I must admit that all the things I heard were true: she's a warm, smart, beautiful sister and I thoroughly enjoyed her presence. One thing that stood out, that no one has ever mentioned by the way, is that Sheila is YOUNG. I mean I know we are not that old ourselves (Thirty is the new twenty, right Jay?), but she is like 18/19 years old young (I was afraid to have her identify her age, plus the drinking age her is 18 so I couldn't rightfully snatch that rum punch from her).
When Craig asked me what I thought of Sheila, I told him that she seemed really nice and really young. Not that there is something wrong with that, just was not expecting that from him. If anything I would have thought he would be with someone older. A little backstory, I met Craig through my mentor and Craig is friends with older established folks. My mentor and his wife are older so I assumed that Craig would date older. Then Craig gave me inspiration for this blog entry......
Craig told me that what attracts him most to Sheila is that fact that she is young and unestablished. He likes the CONTROL it gives him. In fact, she let it slip during dinner that she just moved into his place. When I joked with him about that, he again said it is all about CONTROL. When not working at Marshall's, she basically caters to him at the house. Does what she is told and stays in her place I suppose. Now I'm all for sexy talk, and in the heat of passion may even like to here the phrase 'DADDY,' but do I really want to play the fatherly role with you?
While Sheila is beautiful, I begin to feel a little sad for her. She is in the prime of her life and yet, whether she knows it or not, she is being CONTROLLED by her relationship. Sidebar, Craig is doing well and takes very good care of home (i.e. she is here in Virgin Islands with him..expenses paid), but is that enough to sustain a relationship?
Should relationships be about CONTROL or should it be a partnership? Can one person have the upper hand and the relationship work? What say you?
P.S. Happy Memorial Day...i am back on Wednesday with more regular check-ins of the board!
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So, this topic is an interesting one...I think that people like the idea of having control (to that degree) in their relationships, but it soon wears off...for Craig right now, it's new, fresh and seems cool...it makes him feel like more of man to have this P.Y.T. catering to his every need while working at Marshalls..now, that's cool and everything, but don't you think Craig will get tired of having someone that doesn't think, I mean, it sounds to me that's the case...a woman that allows a man to control her like that doesn't have a mind of her own and at 18/19, that probably is the case.
ReplyDeleteNot to diss your friend Mr. Negativity, but he has some insecurities that will come out at some point. No REAL man wants that type of relationship a man that needs to be justified does...people want partners in relationships, not parents. I have a friend who was in a similar situation, met a girl younger than him, wanted to "mold" her, they got married and then she got a mind of her own..lol..he don't like that...so, one thing that I would caution Craig on is that if she has friends, family and access to the outside world, it's possible that she'll mature and form her own opinions on things..when that day comes, Craig will more likey than not, be disappointed. Now, I don't say this to say that there is anything wrong with dating younger, it's about dating someone mature and that doesn't necessarily come with age.
It seems to me that Craig has been in some relationships where he was unable to show that he was the "man", so when this opportunity comes along to coach and develop someone, he jumps right on it....I will leave you with this thought...would Craig want his daughter/mother running around half-working and not using her brain because she's catering to some man...
All I could think of while reading this was Blair Underwoods character in "Madeas Family Reunion."
ReplyDelete-Travis