So, I'm a little pissy about something and I'd like to get it off my chest, as well as get feedback on how I should move forward....ready...OK...
I celebrate my birthday for the whole month...lol...that's just how I roll...anywho, one of my birthday celebration weekends was with a close "friend" of mine. We made all these plans to go out to eat, hit the town, shake our tail feathers, etc....additionally, we decided to do it in her city...she lives in a cool place, like myself...lol...so I work all week, anticipating this b-day celebration with my "friend"...that Friday I'm relieved that the week was over...I'd had several difficult conversations that week, both personally and professionally, so I was ready to kick it with with my girl...so, I drive to her city with my hype playlist on...lol...
I get there Friday and all was well with the world, my issue arrives on Saturday....Saturday we'd plan to hit this new spot that I'd heard so much about....all the young professionals were hyping this place up, so I'm thinkin, this is the perfect place to have my b-day celebration....at some point in the evening, my friend disappears to handle some "bi-ness", I didn't ask a bunch of questions because hey, she's grown and she knows our plan for the evening...the night progresses and she's still gone, so I go ahead and hit the spot solo, expecting her to come behind not long after...when I get there, I see some folks that I know from school, so I started catching up with them...looked up and realized it was damn near midnight...so I check my phone and I'd gotten a text sayin, "I'm on my way"...so I continue drinking and choppin it up with my old college homies...the dj is jammin, so I hop on the dance floor, Stanky Leg, Halle Berry, Dougie, and Flex...LOL....at this point, it's about 1ish and my "friend" is still a no show...so, I'm like damn, where is she...anyone that know me, knows that I'm a worry wart, so, I immediately think something has happened to her..so I go outside to give her a call and realize she'd sent me another message sayin she wasn't coming...so, I'm a little agged at this point because not only did I come up here to see yo ass, it's my damn b-day celebration...
So, after the club, I head back to her crib and when I get there, she's not there...so, tired and drunk, I go to sleep..."it's morning and we've slept the night away"...lol...here she comes draggin in when the sun is out as if nothing happened...I have a MAJOR attitude about this whole little situation...she can sense the tude and goes on to explain that she was hangin out with some dude...she mentions his name and I'm like wait, isn't this the dude that been playin games with you and being shady....she like yea (women can be so stupid)...so, at that point I'm EXTRA pissy...I pack my ish and head back home...the entire way, I'm fuming about the situation...
So, I pose these questions to you, how do I handle this "friend"? Do I tell her how I feel and how it made me feel for her to put me down after I drove to see HER, for some dude?! What does that say about our "friendship"?!
Thoughts?!!?!....
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If you have a problem with it, don't be so passive aggressive about it. She obviously wasn't picking up the attitude (or she picked it up and didn't care for it.) Nobody can negate your feelings so you should just express to her that you wanted to spend that time with her. It sounds like you had a great time anyway, so its not like your plans were entirely ruined.
ReplyDeleteYou shouldn't judge her for who she dates; she may not be at the same place in her experiences as you are.
Let that expereince with her be a testament to you about where she's at in life with her priorities. Now you know, so move forward accordingly. You don't have to cut her, but you might think twice about travelling with her.
Interesting perspective @anonymous. Understandable, but definitely not where my intial thoughts went. Let me say this, as I've been in similar situations in that past. I take commitments seriously, so if you say you're going to do something...do it. That being said, things come up, but again communication is key. Regardless of where she or I are in life, a commitment is a commitment. And if the friend was coming to see you and hang with YOU it really doesn't make sense not to put in a little more concern.
ReplyDeleteOk, so you drive up to see your friend and she ditches you to get her swerve on? Crazy? Yes. Sad? Maybe. True? Very! This type of behavior happens among guys more often than not, so I guess I level of outrage is probaly not the same as others who may comment. I do understand where you are coming from, so I will base my opinion on that.
ReplyDeleteIt was a messed up situation and since your feelings were bothered by her act of selfishness, then you most certainly have to say something to her. Approach her with WEAPONS DOWN. No confrontation needed. Express how you feel and then if you want to keep her as a friend, let it go and move on.
Let this be a lesson ladies: While the power of the P.U.S.S.Y. has been the cause of many wars and catastrophes, our MAGIC STICKS will come between you and your girls.
The friend was very selfish. You should definitely discuss your disdain for her ditching you for a little action. That "pole" can be a powerful draw.
ReplyDeleteYou now know where her priorities stand and you should proceed with caution on how you deal with her in the future on this type of thing.
-Travis
You definitely have to say something however YOU communicate with her. Sure, in theory Weapons down but in reality "is Wayne Brady go' have to cut a b". LOL No need trying to water It down...she's your friend, handle her based on how you talk to each other. What your girlfriend did is weak to me but real.This is a behavior you will find in women. I realize things come up but you thought enough of her to spend your birthday time with her, the least she could have done after standing you up was apologize perfusely...she should still be apologizing. Woman allow men to come in between them all of the time. Sad but true. It's not because they don't value the friendship, it's just the power men have over women whether they are treating them right or not. As friends, we stick by and will be there long after the guy is gone. As Stacy Lattisaw said, "Don't throw it all away". Let her know how you feel but also come to grips with how she is and accept her the way she is (obviously, proceed with caution scheduling your social calendar around her...lol). I'm glad you were mature enough to go on out and KICK IT cause there are many who wouldn't.
ReplyDeleteWell....let the church say amen. All great comments. I think that you should tell her how you feel, then keep it moving. You don't have to go hard, just take the emotion out of it and say.....It was messed up that you did x, i thought we were doing y, it made me feel z.
ReplyDeleteAnd unfortunately, we as women know that if a man calls, especially one we are really feeling, that girlfriend may get pushed to the side.
I'm just saying.