Reverend Do "Wrong"...

So, my guest blogger, Miss Indecisive has inspired me to provide ya'll with a throwback situation that I experienced several years ago...when I was real pup...I think about 22...ok, so here goes:

When I graduated from college, I moved to Indiana and while there, I made some really close friends and made the most of my time there...during this time in my life, I was trying to enhance my spirituality, get more deep rooted into the Word, etc...so, like I'm doing here in Texas, I was church hopping, trying to find my place...so I found a place that I was ready to call home, I enjoyed the music ministry, the closeness of the congregation, and the pastor...now, this pastor was young (maybe 30ish)....newly married, no children...his wife appeared to be older than him, but she could've just been playing the "ole school" traditional first lady role...long skirts, un-stylish hair, etc....

The church wasn't very big, one of those where if you were new, everyone knew it, which I had no issue with, that was one of the things that attracted me to the church....so, one Sunday, I felt moved to join the church...so, I did so...I was really excited that I'd finally found a church home....the Wednesday after I joined the church, I get a personal call from the pastor...he asked me if I was coming to Bible Study...I found it a bit odd that the pastor called me personally, but I was thinkin, well maybe that's just how it is at this church...but, I couldn't help but ask the pastor if he called all his members to inquire about their Bible Study attendance...his reply was "only the new ones"...I'm like..ok, I can accept that....I informed him that I wouldn't be attending this particular week, but would make it the following week...

So, the next day I get another call from the Pastor...early in the morning....he wanted to tell me to have a blessed day...I'm finding this odd, but am a little naive at this stage in life....so, I'm not reading too much into this....next day comes (and maybe it wasn't the exact next day, but it was too frequent for my comfort)...I get another call...so this time, I actually hold a conversation with him, because I'm wondering what his agenda is...is he truly interested in enhancing my spirituality or is he looking for a side-piece...my thoughts, no, he's a pastor, a man of the cloth, he'd never....riiiigghht...

So this conversation revealed alot about him and his thoughts of me...I won't go into the exact details of the convo, mainly because I can't remember, but the jist of it was...he felt like I gave off a flirtatious vibe...which I do, although I didn't feel as though I did in this case...he said that I would look at him intensely as he preached...ummm...that was called paying attention, but whatever....and lastly, he asked if I wanted to be his mistress...WTH...did you really just ask me that pastor?!...at this point, I was intrigued, not because I had an interest in being his mistress, but because I'm wondering how a man of the cloth, who preaches against these types of behaviors ask me such a question...so, I politely asked him, how he could ask me something like that, as a pastor...his response, "I'm still a man"...I learn that before he was a pastor, he was a womanizer and only got married because it was unacceptable to be a single pastor....WOW...talk about my little 22yr old mind being blown...

So, I tell him that I'm not interested and to please never call me again..after this conversation, I found myself depressed, wondering what I'd done to be approached in this manner, had I led him to believe this was something I wanted and if so, how, what did I do...additionally, I stopped going to church..for several months, which was unlike me....I was confused, lost, and didn't understand this until I finally opened up about to my g-ma...who quickly informed me that this wasn't anything new, there was nothing that I did and that I was right to stop attending his church...

Now...I had friends in Indiana that inquired about my abrupt dis-interest this church..I did not share with them what happened, because I didn't want to discourage them from going...however, about 4 or 5 yrs later, I get a message from friend of mine who also attended that church with me...we'd both moved to new cities, but she asked me why I'd stopped attending..I went ahead and told her...and she said, "I knew it" and then went on to tell me that he'd gotten one of the members pregnant and it was a huge scandal in this little town....WOW....he continued on and finally got caught up...

I write this because after this happened, my male friends informed me that instances like this is one reason why men don't attend church...they feel like the men leading the church aren't true pillars of the Word and are more times than not discouraged due to these types of behaviors....do you find this to be true? I've heard this from several men actually...women, how would you have handled this situation?

Thoughts....