Attractive, Established, and Wealthy…What's Wrong with Him?

Isn't it amazing how we think if a man or woman is successful and single that something is wrong with them...

So, I have been struggling with how I would kick off my entries for this blog, but last week, I had an experience that would definitely bring some interesting commentary from people. I was out with some friends at a happy hour, I call it HH. You will learn I have acronyms and nick names for almost everything! Anyway, we were at a happy hour when this attractive gentleman, probably in his late 30s/early 40s, joined my friend and I at our sitting area. The location of the HH has couches that face each other. So my guy friend (strictly platonic) and I are sitting on one couch and this guy comes up. My guy friend introduces me to the gentleman. HIs name is Marcus. Marcus sits down and tells me that it will likely take him a few times to remember my name because he isn't good at that….I am thinking what? I mean it's one thing to be honest, but another to be lazy or basically say you are not important enough for me to remember your name. I tell Marcus, wow, that's interesting. I am glad to know that you will not take .5% of your memory to remember my name during the course of our conversation. He laughs and says, no it's not that…then I say what is it…I continue to give him a hard time about his disinterest and decide, I don't know him to joke with him like that and decide to put the blade down. My friend tells Marcus that I like to call people out…I just say, better to do it to your face than behind your back

: )

So Marcus and I continue to banter back and forth. He tells me he is originally from the South and was in the military before working for the company he is currently employed by…I had other plans to go to this little NBA Finals kick off party, so I told Marcus, it was nice to meet him, but I had to go…He said well you should come back. I do have to admit that the dj at the HH was jamming and we were having a good conversation, but I had an early day the next day…like had to be at work at 5:45 early day. So I say, well, we shall see. By that time I was already a hour and a half late for the party and had just texted the host to say I would be there in 20 minutes. 45 minutes later, I made it to the party… I told Marcus, that I may get up with him after the Finals party….

Well, you know what happened….I ended up texting my guy friend and Marcus to see where they were ( oh you know I got the number, he was cute and we had good conversation, he speaks french too). They both replied, we are still at the same location, so I say okay, I am coming back. Once I return, I hear that Marcus composes symphonies….Hmm…You know I love the arts and people that are into them…i whatever capacity. Before I left, Marcus was telling me about the different kinds of wines he enjoys and ones I should try. I told him I don't care for too many reds, so he schooled me on a few of those. He says that he has been deployed a few times and was in the military for quite some time. Then he says has lived all over the world and is going to the Caribbean in a few weeks for two weeks… I say that's what's up. He goes on to say, he has a home there with a few acres. I say okay…the home is on an island in the British Virgin Islands. I say, attractive, intelligent, cultured, and wealthy, shoot… I might need to engage in some more conversation and I might need to go to the Caribbean real soon! lol

Well, by this time, a couple of hours have gone by, the place is about to close and my friends, along with Marcus are leaving. My friends go to their cars and Marcus and I stop at mine. Our conversation continues, he tells me it's a pleasure to meet me, he loves my smile, and my sprit and hopes to see me again. I say, well, we shall see. The longer we talk the closer he gets to me…I keep thinking, is he trying to get in for a kiss…surely not. I just met him, so I'm like negative, but as I suspected that was definitely his intention. We end the night and I get into my car, he immediately calls me and says, are you sure you have to go to sleep…by now it's after midnight. I say, oh yes I do and even if I didn't, you and I would have to wrap this convo up…well maybe not, he is attractive, wealthy, and established.

Well Marcus was only in the area for the weekend and I was going out of town for the weekend, so unfortunately we didn't have a whole lot of time to spend with each other. The next morning, Marcus text me and said good morning. Yep, typical…I am thinking…playa playa…We end up going to lunch with some other friends the same afternoon. We shared a few little smiles and short exchanges during lunch, then he ask what I am doing afterwards. I say working from home and then going out of town. He says he wants to see me before I leave, I say we might can make that happen. Of course, we do. We end up having a smoothie and he says, you can ask me any question you want to ask me, but know I will be open and honest. I am thinking, red flag…he has some skeletons. So I start with the general questions, do you have kids? He says, yes, three- ages 8, 10, and 12, but my 8 year old lives in another state. I say, are you married? But thinking to myself, if he was, then surely he wouldn't be engaging in conversation with me. He says, yes. Hmm, the red flag I was talking about…there it was. I said, how long? He said 12 years. I say, hold on, you have a 8 year old that lives in another state. He says, yes, I had a friend when I was stationed somewhere else and unfortunately we got too close and had a child. I said, interesting. He just looked…I am thinking to myself unbelievable. Now I didn't think he was going to the Caribbean by himself, but his actions did not show he was married. This time, he tells me to ask more questions, I say, I don't know that I have anymore. Because for me at this point, I no longer have an interest in him… I tell him that it is so unfortunate that we met and that his behavior is questionable. He says, well the fact that I am married, does that change things? I am looking at him like…duh it does. He says, well we hit it off, we have a definite chemistry, and attraction. I say, all true, but my moral compass will not allow me to have any other interaction with you. I just could not believe it…not that married men have not approached me, but this one was different. He did not give off the normal signals…He then says, his wife's family owns several properties in the British Virgin Islands, it's a business of theirs…she's actually from the Caribbean…I say interesting…and then ask him, Where's your moral compass? He says, I just met someone who I instantly was attracted to both physically and intellectually..SMH! So readers I ask you, where is your moral compass?

We all have things that we do that are not right, sometimes unintentionally, but most times we know. We all, hopefully we all, have a core value system. Our values may be different, but some things are just wrong. What would you have said or done in this situation? For me, I have to ask more questions, forget if the person thinks you are being too forward or nosey…I could've ended up being the other woman or one of many. What you think about that?