First let me say: HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY to you!...so, I am here in Dallas and it's POPPIN this weekend...naturally, I picked up some more material...in this entry, I will introduce each of them and if there are more details to follow, I will write separately...ok, here we go:
Morris
So, I met Morris while out a restaurant with my friends. we made eyes for a bit and then I realized that he was sitting with someone I knew. So, I get up to hug the person I know and casually said "oh, who is this"...lol...shortly after the introduction, Morris makes his way over to sit with me and my friends. Morris' stats: 30, no kids, only child between both parents (he has some step siblings), educator by day - promoter by night (skeptical about that), from Michigan, has a motorcycle, chocolaty brown, nice build, maybe 6'3ish...now, Morris is one of those cats that I WANT to call me....lol...so, we'll see...also in the midst of the conversation, I learn that he works out in MY fitness facility everyday after work because he used to live here, I was like..hmm..I've neva seen you around these parts, guess I need to take my ass to that facility more regularly around 5ish Mon-Fri...LOL...hopefully there will be more to come on him!
Rodney
I met Rodney for the 2nd time at an event on Saturday...the first time we met, I was unable to find out any information about him, but this time, he was interested in chatting with me....Rodney's stats: 36 yrs old, separated (ugh, it's going around), father of 3 (ugh, that's going around too, shit), 6'5ish, caramel colored, H.S. BB coach (head coach), played ball in college...Rodney seems like a nice guy, but I was immediately turned off from any romantic interest with the wife and 3 kids...remember Justin (*sigh)....anyway, Rodney ends up coming to the spot that my friends and I are at on Sat night, which was cool...but wait, he then shows up to where I am Sunday...I'm like, what are you doing here, he says, you told me you were gonna be here...ummm...is that an invite though?!?!...idk, I guess it could be seen that way...anywho, I sat with him for just a second and then said I had to go...Rodney didn't even have an eighth of the impact on me like Justin did...why, umm...he just doesn't have "IT"..or maybe I'm just wore out from hearing about wives and children, idk....lol...either way it makes it to where I have no issue with being cool with him, I'm just wondering at what point I'll have to tell him that I have no romantic interest..hmm...may be more to come on that too....
Malcolm
I met Malcolm at this same event...lol...at a different time of course (I'm no dummy)...Malcolm's attire peaked my interest...he was wearing a plaid shirt, army fatigue shorts, mandals (I love them, btw) and some of those big-framed glasses....he had an Andre 3000 feel to him and I was feelin that whole vibe...it was different....Malcolm was there with a friend, as was I...my friend was interested in meeting his friend, so, I set it up to where we ended up playing spades with them..during the game, we all exchange information...they all pull out their bi-ness cards and Malcolm says to me, "well how are we supposed to get in touch with you"..lol..so, I do it the old school way and just put my info in his phone and then his friend handed me his phone to do the same..is that strange?!?!..maybe not..anwyay, Malcolm's stats: 35 yr old design engineer by day, comedian at night...and that's as far as I got....so, Malcolm calls me yesterday afternoon inquiring about my plans for the evening, I tell him what I had planned (which I'm glad he didn't show up...I'll have to work on that)....and he told me to hit him up later, which I did, but never heard back from him...so, I'm not sure where we are with Malcolm...there may be more to come on him too...
Tim
Lastly we have Tim....I met time at the end of the same event...you can imagine I was wore out at this point...anywho...Tim just moved here, he claims to be 31, but I believe in my heart he's 21...lol..he has 2 children, 2 baby momma's and umm....that's all on him...no more to come...LOL!
SN: Everyone here has a bi-ness card, now, I too have a bi-ness card, but it has all my work information on it..I don't want these fools reaching out to me on my work email and cell....everytime I go somewhere, someone is asking me for a card, so I've decided to create myself a bi-ness card...it will read:
Name
Socialite
Cell/Email
It will also have a graphic of some sort (I'm thinkin a martini glass) and will have somethin that reads: fun.food.fellowship...I'm still working on the details...thoughts?!!?!
Monday, May 31, 2010
CONTROL (as sung by Janet Jackson)
"When I was seventeen I did what people told me..did what my father said, and let my mother mold me...."
So, while here on vacation I had dinner with a friend of mine, Craig, and his new girlfriend Sheila. I have known Craig for years. He is what you would call an over achiever and has done really well for himself and he is only in his 30s. While I had never met Sheila personally, I have heard all great things about her. Meeting her, I must admit that all the things I heard were true: she's a warm, smart, beautiful sister and I thoroughly enjoyed her presence. One thing that stood out, that no one has ever mentioned by the way, is that Sheila is YOUNG. I mean I know we are not that old ourselves (Thirty is the new twenty, right Jay?), but she is like 18/19 years old young (I was afraid to have her identify her age, plus the drinking age her is 18 so I couldn't rightfully snatch that rum punch from her).
When Craig asked me what I thought of Sheila, I told him that she seemed really nice and really young. Not that there is something wrong with that, just was not expecting that from him. If anything I would have thought he would be with someone older. A little backstory, I met Craig through my mentor and Craig is friends with older established folks. My mentor and his wife are older so I assumed that Craig would date older. Then Craig gave me inspiration for this blog entry......
Craig told me that what attracts him most to Sheila is that fact that she is young and unestablished. He likes the CONTROL it gives him. In fact, she let it slip during dinner that she just moved into his place. When I joked with him about that, he again said it is all about CONTROL. When not working at Marshall's, she basically caters to him at the house. Does what she is told and stays in her place I suppose. Now I'm all for sexy talk, and in the heat of passion may even like to here the phrase 'DADDY,' but do I really want to play the fatherly role with you?
While Sheila is beautiful, I begin to feel a little sad for her. She is in the prime of her life and yet, whether she knows it or not, she is being CONTROLLED by her relationship. Sidebar, Craig is doing well and takes very good care of home (i.e. she is here in Virgin Islands with him..expenses paid), but is that enough to sustain a relationship?
Should relationships be about CONTROL or should it be a partnership? Can one person have the upper hand and the relationship work? What say you?
P.S. Happy Memorial Day...i am back on Wednesday with more regular check-ins of the board!
So, while here on vacation I had dinner with a friend of mine, Craig, and his new girlfriend Sheila. I have known Craig for years. He is what you would call an over achiever and has done really well for himself and he is only in his 30s. While I had never met Sheila personally, I have heard all great things about her. Meeting her, I must admit that all the things I heard were true: she's a warm, smart, beautiful sister and I thoroughly enjoyed her presence. One thing that stood out, that no one has ever mentioned by the way, is that Sheila is YOUNG. I mean I know we are not that old ourselves (Thirty is the new twenty, right Jay?), but she is like 18/19 years old young (I was afraid to have her identify her age, plus the drinking age her is 18 so I couldn't rightfully snatch that rum punch from her).
When Craig asked me what I thought of Sheila, I told him that she seemed really nice and really young. Not that there is something wrong with that, just was not expecting that from him. If anything I would have thought he would be with someone older. A little backstory, I met Craig through my mentor and Craig is friends with older established folks. My mentor and his wife are older so I assumed that Craig would date older. Then Craig gave me inspiration for this blog entry......
Craig told me that what attracts him most to Sheila is that fact that she is young and unestablished. He likes the CONTROL it gives him. In fact, she let it slip during dinner that she just moved into his place. When I joked with him about that, he again said it is all about CONTROL. When not working at Marshall's, she basically caters to him at the house. Does what she is told and stays in her place I suppose. Now I'm all for sexy talk, and in the heat of passion may even like to here the phrase 'DADDY,' but do I really want to play the fatherly role with you?
While Sheila is beautiful, I begin to feel a little sad for her. She is in the prime of her life and yet, whether she knows it or not, she is being CONTROLLED by her relationship. Sidebar, Craig is doing well and takes very good care of home (i.e. she is here in Virgin Islands with him..expenses paid), but is that enough to sustain a relationship?
Should relationships be about CONTROL or should it be a partnership? Can one person have the upper hand and the relationship work? What say you?
P.S. Happy Memorial Day...i am back on Wednesday with more regular check-ins of the board!
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Perils in Paradise
Good Saturday! Sorry for the absence the past few days, but I bring you greetings from the lovely island of St. Thomas. I am posting this while sitting on the beach, drink in hand (not bragging, just setting the scene...Lol). Hope everyone is doing well.
So, I arrived here and it immediately started raining. It rained the entire first day here. Yesterday, I went drinking in my favorite sunglasses and awoke to find them missing. This
morning my cell phone died...like completely shut down. What is supposed to be a relaxing vacation is turning into a mini-nightmare.
I will return next week, hopefully with some interesting entries for this blog. My eyes are always open for foolishness. Enjoy the holiday weekend!
P.S. I must offer my condolences to actor Gary Coleman who died on yesterday at age 42. You will be missed little man. Just be sure to tell Micheal Jackson that you are not a child.
So, I arrived here and it immediately started raining. It rained the entire first day here. Yesterday, I went drinking in my favorite sunglasses and awoke to find them missing. This
morning my cell phone died...like completely shut down. What is supposed to be a relaxing vacation is turning into a mini-nightmare.I will return next week, hopefully with some interesting entries for this blog. My eyes are always open for foolishness. Enjoy the holiday weekend!
P.S. I must offer my condolences to actor Gary Coleman who died on yesterday at age 42. You will be missed little man. Just be sure to tell Micheal Jackson that you are not a child.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
So You Choose...Now What?!?!....
At some point in life we all choose who we think our mate should be...but when that day comes, we may or may not be able to act on it for several reasons: they're involved, you haven't expressed your feelings, they're your best friend, etc....but, we've mentally decided that is the person we want to be our life partner...so how do you handle that...let's look at a couple scenarios:
The Best Friend
You've been friends for years, you know exactly how each other functions, how you think, you love being in their presence and you know EVERYTHING about one another...that's good and bad right..yep, it is...so you reach a point in your life when you've had several serious relationships and a couple of flings....lol...but no one compares to how you feel when you're with this person. This person is the standard for what you'd want in a life partner, so what do you do? How do you handle it? Do you take a risk and let them know your innermost feelings about them or do you just let 'what's meant to be, be'?
My thoughts on this are to go for it...why, you ask, why would I condone risking the friendship?...it's simple...if you are truly friends and are at a certain maturity level, you should be able to A) have an adult conversation about it (they may feel the same) and B) give it a shot...your bond should be strong enough to bounce back if it doesn't work out...the other piece is this, because this is a BEST friend, neither parties would enter into it haphazardly, i.e., knowing that they're not ready for that type of commitment....just my thoughts...
Un-Resolved Ex Feelings
So, you were in a relationship with this person for years, it had it's up and downs, maybe more downs than ups...you eventually got to a point where you decided it wasn't going to work...so, you move on...at that time, you have no regrets, it's the best thing that ever happened to you, they gon miss you when you gone, etc...lol...as the years go on, you do your thing they do theirs....you reconnect after a couple of years (for whatever purpose) and all of sudden realize, wait, I think I'm still in love with this person....you try to fight those feelings because after all, an ex is an ex for reason...maybe, maybe not....maybe they were an ex to help you realize where your true happiness lies or maybe they are just that, an ex....but what if it's not the latter...are you too prideful to admit that is who you want to be your life partner...maybe because you're the one that flexed your muscles in the end....who knows....the question is, how do you handle it? Do you put yourself out there and risk rejection?...no one likes that right...do you make yourself vulnerable for someone who you told to go to hell in gasoline draws?!?!...lol...
My thoughts on this...the above is purely a pride thing...if you put your feelings out there and they are not reciprocated, keep it movin...you've spoke your piece and you'll sleep easier...if you hold it in because you're scared, you may have real regrets 5yrs down the line...now, what about if you express your feelings and they express theirs and you're on the same page...win-win right....a good friend of mine told me that sometimes you have to deal with a little pain to ultimately have pleasure...the pleasure may not be getting the person, it may be that you've released those feelings and while they weren't reciprocated, you truly have no regrets, which can help minimize baggage in a new relationship...again, just my thoughts...
So, the question remains, what are you willing to do for love? Is your pride more important than your overall happiness? Would you risk that friendship to escalate it to a life partnership??
As Mr. Negativity would say...what say you?!
The Best Friend
You've been friends for years, you know exactly how each other functions, how you think, you love being in their presence and you know EVERYTHING about one another...that's good and bad right..yep, it is...so you reach a point in your life when you've had several serious relationships and a couple of flings....lol...but no one compares to how you feel when you're with this person. This person is the standard for what you'd want in a life partner, so what do you do? How do you handle it? Do you take a risk and let them know your innermost feelings about them or do you just let 'what's meant to be, be'?
My thoughts on this are to go for it...why, you ask, why would I condone risking the friendship?...it's simple...if you are truly friends and are at a certain maturity level, you should be able to A) have an adult conversation about it (they may feel the same) and B) give it a shot...your bond should be strong enough to bounce back if it doesn't work out...the other piece is this, because this is a BEST friend, neither parties would enter into it haphazardly, i.e., knowing that they're not ready for that type of commitment....just my thoughts...
Un-Resolved Ex Feelings
So, you were in a relationship with this person for years, it had it's up and downs, maybe more downs than ups...you eventually got to a point where you decided it wasn't going to work...so, you move on...at that time, you have no regrets, it's the best thing that ever happened to you, they gon miss you when you gone, etc...lol...as the years go on, you do your thing they do theirs....you reconnect after a couple of years (for whatever purpose) and all of sudden realize, wait, I think I'm still in love with this person....you try to fight those feelings because after all, an ex is an ex for reason...maybe, maybe not....maybe they were an ex to help you realize where your true happiness lies or maybe they are just that, an ex....but what if it's not the latter...are you too prideful to admit that is who you want to be your life partner...maybe because you're the one that flexed your muscles in the end....who knows....the question is, how do you handle it? Do you put yourself out there and risk rejection?...no one likes that right...do you make yourself vulnerable for someone who you told to go to hell in gasoline draws?!?!...lol...
My thoughts on this...the above is purely a pride thing...if you put your feelings out there and they are not reciprocated, keep it movin...you've spoke your piece and you'll sleep easier...if you hold it in because you're scared, you may have real regrets 5yrs down the line...now, what about if you express your feelings and they express theirs and you're on the same page...win-win right....a good friend of mine told me that sometimes you have to deal with a little pain to ultimately have pleasure...the pleasure may not be getting the person, it may be that you've released those feelings and while they weren't reciprocated, you truly have no regrets, which can help minimize baggage in a new relationship...again, just my thoughts...
So, the question remains, what are you willing to do for love? Is your pride more important than your overall happiness? Would you risk that friendship to escalate it to a life partnership??
As Mr. Negativity would say...what say you?!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Happy To Be Here...Eager To Offend
Wow! What an introduction. Let me start off by thanking the beautiful and talented creator of this blog, Omniscient. I appreciate her willingness to reach out and I hope I live up to her expectations here.
I am a 30-something, single professional male residing in ATL. Trust me when I tell you, it is not all it is cracked up to be. I make the most of it and I enjoy what I do. I hope to share more about me and my life (dating, partying, travels,etc.) as the journey continues. My goal as guest blogger is to put out what I think are interesting discussions and hopefully piss some people off. I mean really, a good blog needs some controversy...right?
So, with that being said...let's get to it!
According to TMZ, rapper Nas and singer Kelis are now officially divorced (that's right fellas, she can now be BOSSY with you too...for the right price)! At the divorce hearing, the judge ordered Nas to immediately dish out $47,249.42 in back child support and $40,454 in back spousal support. The judge also ordered him to pay $10K a month in spousal support until he pays off almost $300K he owes Kelis in back shild/spousal support. Nas also has to pay 90% of her legal fees in the amount of $155,787.28 and $48,549.83 to cover Kelis' acoounting expenses.
In the words of my girl Necole B., "I don't have to pull out my calculator to see that $47,249.42 + $40,454 + $300,000 + $155,787.28 + $48,549.83 = A LOT OF DAMN MONEY!!"
Now, I am all about taking care of the kids...I mean, that's your seed so you have to provide for his/her future. But DAMN, spousal support?!? It is not like Kelis does not have a job or a skill set...she is a talented, able bodied musician herself. Does she really need that much money in spousal support? I know her MILKSHAKE brings all the boys to the yard, but damn, for that price I'll stick to the strawberry/kiwi slushies at Sonics.
Brothers, watch out for this new attack. Not only do you have to 'wrap it up,' but you better make sure that she is degreed and working in her field with her OWN money....or at least have an iron-clad PRE-NUP. Guess who's singing I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW today?
What say you? How much money is too much?
I am a 30-something, single professional male residing in ATL. Trust me when I tell you, it is not all it is cracked up to be. I make the most of it and I enjoy what I do. I hope to share more about me and my life (dating, partying, travels,etc.) as the journey continues. My goal as guest blogger is to put out what I think are interesting discussions and hopefully piss some people off. I mean really, a good blog needs some controversy...right?
So, with that being said...let's get to it!
According to TMZ, rapper Nas and singer Kelis are now officially divorced (that's right fellas, she can now be BOSSY with you too...for the right price)! At the divorce hearing, the judge ordered Nas to immediately dish out $47,249.42 in back child support and $40,454 in back spousal support. The judge also ordered him to pay $10K a month in spousal support until he pays off almost $300K he owes Kelis in back shild/spousal support. Nas also has to pay 90% of her legal fees in the amount of $155,787.28 and $48,549.83 to cover Kelis' acoounting expenses.
In the words of my girl Necole B., "I don't have to pull out my calculator to see that $47,249.42 + $40,454 + $300,000 + $155,787.28 + $48,549.83 = A LOT OF DAMN MONEY!!"
Now, I am all about taking care of the kids...I mean, that's your seed so you have to provide for his/her future. But DAMN, spousal support?!? It is not like Kelis does not have a job or a skill set...she is a talented, able bodied musician herself. Does she really need that much money in spousal support? I know her MILKSHAKE brings all the boys to the yard, but damn, for that price I'll stick to the strawberry/kiwi slushies at Sonics.
Brothers, watch out for this new attack. Not only do you have to 'wrap it up,' but you better make sure that she is degreed and working in her field with her OWN money....or at least have an iron-clad PRE-NUP. Guess who's singing I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW today?
What say you? How much money is too much?
Introducing - - - - Mr. Negativity - - - - My Guest Blogger...
So, I've been getting crucified for not providing daily posts for my readers...the truth is, after Antowne, I had nothing left (hence me saying, and then there were none)...I will still continue to post when something entertaining happens....anywho, I've decided to make this more interesting by adding a male friend of mine as a guest blogger...his name is Mr. Negativity...
Mr. Negativity will write about whatever his heart desires...I can see us having some GREAT gender debates...like myself, Mr. Negativity will keep it REAL, he will give his honest opinion on whatever topic he blogs about or comments on, so again I say, this blog is not for sensitive folks...
I thought that this would add an interesting dynamic to the blog and keep my readers intrigued...I believe he will post his first blog tonight...
Introducing....Mr. Negativity! (clap, clap, clap)
Mr. Negativity will write about whatever his heart desires...I can see us having some GREAT gender debates...like myself, Mr. Negativity will keep it REAL, he will give his honest opinion on whatever topic he blogs about or comments on, so again I say, this blog is not for sensitive folks...
I thought that this would add an interesting dynamic to the blog and keep my readers intrigued...I believe he will post his first blog tonight...
Introducing....Mr. Negativity! (clap, clap, clap)
Monday, May 24, 2010
The Weight Factor...Should It Matter??!!...
So this is the first entry that is not about me...which excites me, because I give out a lot of advice, but who am I?!?!?!...if you are offended by this post, please refer to my welcome! :-)
A friend of mine is struggling with her mate's weight...they've been together for several years and he is everything that she wants in a man, but she is not physically attracted to him because he has a larger frame (they have little to no intimacy)...she shared this information with another friend of hers who told her that she was shallow, but I beg to differ...I told her that she is being realistic with herself, while weight is a "sensitive" topic, it's better to be honest than to tell your mate how great and wonderful they are,l when in the back of your mind you're disgusted watching them eat or take their clothes off...I know that sounded harsh, but it's REAL...folks try to tip-toe around this kind of stuff and quite frankly, I don't understand why...lack of physical attraction will lead to infidelity...PERIOD....I also advised her to talk to him about it...maybe he doesn't realize she has an issue with it...
I've dated a few "larger" men and the issue typically isn't that they're fat, it's usually that they don't care that they're fat...that's a problem...not only is it a physical attraction issue, but it can also lead to health issues down the line and when you're thinking about a life partner, that's something to consider...now, please don't confuse being fat with being structurally big...some folks will always be big, but when that belly is hanging over them pants....hmph...I'll just leave it at that...and let's be clear, I'm not being judgemental, because my belly shole does hang...lol...but I also don't have a sedentary life (lazy for the slow folks)....
So I caught up with my friend A) to be sure she was okay with me blogging about here and B) to see where she was with this situation...she informed that they're eating right, TOGETHER...that's cool and I hope it works out for them...
Now, I pose this question to my readers...and I'm looking for HONEST answers, not any politically correct ish...what would be your advice to her on this topic?!?!?!
A friend of mine is struggling with her mate's weight...they've been together for several years and he is everything that she wants in a man, but she is not physically attracted to him because he has a larger frame (they have little to no intimacy)...she shared this information with another friend of hers who told her that she was shallow, but I beg to differ...I told her that she is being realistic with herself, while weight is a "sensitive" topic, it's better to be honest than to tell your mate how great and wonderful they are,l when in the back of your mind you're disgusted watching them eat or take their clothes off...I know that sounded harsh, but it's REAL...folks try to tip-toe around this kind of stuff and quite frankly, I don't understand why...lack of physical attraction will lead to infidelity...PERIOD....I also advised her to talk to him about it...maybe he doesn't realize she has an issue with it...
I've dated a few "larger" men and the issue typically isn't that they're fat, it's usually that they don't care that they're fat...that's a problem...not only is it a physical attraction issue, but it can also lead to health issues down the line and when you're thinking about a life partner, that's something to consider...now, please don't confuse being fat with being structurally big...some folks will always be big, but when that belly is hanging over them pants....hmph...I'll just leave it at that...and let's be clear, I'm not being judgemental, because my belly shole does hang...lol...but I also don't have a sedentary life (lazy for the slow folks)....
So I caught up with my friend A) to be sure she was okay with me blogging about here and B) to see where she was with this situation...she informed that they're eating right, TOGETHER...that's cool and I hope it works out for them...
Now, I pose this question to my readers...and I'm looking for HONEST answers, not any politically correct ish...what would be your advice to her on this topic?!?!?!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Antwone Gets Properly Placed....
Ok...so we all know that Antwone has 4 children, which means I have no dating interest in him, however, to-date, I'd like to get to know Antwone on a friend level...he seems really laid back and could potentially be added to my male friend list (platonic friend list, just to be clear)...Antwone has been trying really hard to take me out on a date this week and I honestly haven't had the time to entertain his requests...additionally, I don't want to mislead him...
I've been struggling with whether or not I should tell him that I'd like to get to know him, but have no romantic interest in him due to the 4 kids...that's rude huh??..so what am I supposed to do??!!...so, this has been really heavy on my mind, because to be quite frank, I'm tired of being a bia-bia to these dudes and Antwone, at this point, isn't deserving of that...he hasn't gotten on my nerves, he don't call all the time, he checks on me from time to time, so in my book, he's cool...
So as I'm driving to AR today, I'm having this discussion with a dear friend of mine and collectively we decide that it's okay to be honest with Antwone...so the text message convo with Antwone goes as follows:
Me: Hey, I've been thinking and I'm cool with us hanging out, however, I can't see myself being involved with someone that has 4 kids, but we can be friends, does that work?
Him: Yea, I could tell that off the top, I was wondering when you were gonna let it be know. Lol! It's cool though, I guess I can manage without you :-( .
Me: So you don't wanna be my friend?! Lol!
Him: Yea definitely, I would love to.
Me: Ok cool...we can have that meal next week!
Him: Oh yea, now we can eat..lol! Well I'm down!
Me: Lol..ok, good!
Now this conversation is important because I was able to be honest with Antwone prior to him trying to take me out to a 5-star restaurant with violins playing in the background...I now feel better about having a meal with him because he's knows the deal.....he doesn't strike me as the type that would disregard the above conversation and I have mad respect for his response...I'm not sure what vibe I gave off that told him I wasn't feelin all them damn kids, but I'm glad he got it and was able to take my honesty and move forward...Antwone showed his maturity and I applaud him for that...to be honest, I wasn't sure how he'd react, but I was willing to take my chances, I don't like to lead folks on because I don't want to be led on...
So, where does that leave me...and then there were none...LOL...I'm 0 for 4 so far in Texas, but that's okay...on to the next one(s)...
Stay tuned...
I've been struggling with whether or not I should tell him that I'd like to get to know him, but have no romantic interest in him due to the 4 kids...that's rude huh??..so what am I supposed to do??!!...so, this has been really heavy on my mind, because to be quite frank, I'm tired of being a bia-bia to these dudes and Antwone, at this point, isn't deserving of that...he hasn't gotten on my nerves, he don't call all the time, he checks on me from time to time, so in my book, he's cool...
So as I'm driving to AR today, I'm having this discussion with a dear friend of mine and collectively we decide that it's okay to be honest with Antwone...so the text message convo with Antwone goes as follows:
Me: Hey, I've been thinking and I'm cool with us hanging out, however, I can't see myself being involved with someone that has 4 kids, but we can be friends, does that work?
Him: Yea, I could tell that off the top, I was wondering when you were gonna let it be know. Lol! It's cool though, I guess I can manage without you :-( .
Me: So you don't wanna be my friend?! Lol!
Him: Yea definitely, I would love to.
Me: Ok cool...we can have that meal next week!
Him: Oh yea, now we can eat..lol! Well I'm down!
Me: Lol..ok, good!
Now this conversation is important because I was able to be honest with Antwone prior to him trying to take me out to a 5-star restaurant with violins playing in the background...I now feel better about having a meal with him because he's knows the deal.....he doesn't strike me as the type that would disregard the above conversation and I have mad respect for his response...I'm not sure what vibe I gave off that told him I wasn't feelin all them damn kids, but I'm glad he got it and was able to take my honesty and move forward...Antwone showed his maturity and I applaud him for that...to be honest, I wasn't sure how he'd react, but I was willing to take my chances, I don't like to lead folks on because I don't want to be led on...
So, where does that leave me...and then there were none...LOL...I'm 0 for 4 so far in Texas, but that's okay...on to the next one(s)...
Stay tuned...
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
The Welcomed Demise of Mike...
Ok, so after Sunday, I'd been getting little subtle sly remarks from Mike via text "you acting brand new"..."I must not have left a good impression on you"..."just checking on my homegirl"...etc...he'd been hittin me up daily like clock work...which was starting to really work my nerves...so yesterday Mike calls around 7ish..he just wanted to say "hi"...I'm like...OK...then he calls again around 10ish...by this time, I was unavailable, so I didn't pick up....so this morning I shoot him a text and say "hey, I saw you called again last night, what's up"...so he says "who is this, I lost my contacts"...I say "Name"...he says "hey, you're a nice young lady and everything, but I don't feel like there's anymore chemistry between us and that's cool, best wishes and take care"....my response "I agree...you take care as well"!
Now, while I'm not feeling Mike, I do appreciate him recognizing that we weren't connecting and making that call...more times than not, I have to be the bad person, so I must admit that if felt good to not have that responsibility....so who's left...
Antwone...and a couple of stragglers that I've not yet mentioned here...maybe at a later date....Antwone is to the point where he wants to take me out to dinner, lunch, breakfast, anything...here's my dilemma...I don't mind hanging out with him, but I'd like for him to know up front that I don't have an interest in dating him...how do you tell someone that without being rude??? You're probably wondering why I'd even want to hang out with him...well, I think it's nice to have folks around that you aren't interested in like that, as long as they know the deal...I'd be adding to my male friends repertoire...but again, how do I express this without being rude...help??!?!
Now, while I'm not feeling Mike, I do appreciate him recognizing that we weren't connecting and making that call...more times than not, I have to be the bad person, so I must admit that if felt good to not have that responsibility....so who's left...
Antwone...and a couple of stragglers that I've not yet mentioned here...maybe at a later date....Antwone is to the point where he wants to take me out to dinner, lunch, breakfast, anything...here's my dilemma...I don't mind hanging out with him, but I'd like for him to know up front that I don't have an interest in dating him...how do you tell someone that without being rude??? You're probably wondering why I'd even want to hang out with him...well, I think it's nice to have folks around that you aren't interested in like that, as long as they know the deal...I'd be adding to my male friends repertoire...but again, how do I express this without being rude...help??!?!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Antwone - The New Addition or Not.....
Ok peeps....I've now been here 4wks and have met 4 guys...not intentionally, however...Antwone is the Assistant Manager at my local grocery store.....here's the story of Antwone...
I go on my first grocery shopping trip and notice Antwone...he's cute, probably about my height, nice smile, light-skinned and continuously asked me if I needed help finding anything in the store...I wasn't really in the mood to make small talk, but I wasn't blind...lol...so my second trip in the store..I'm in there to pick up cards and Antwone almost runs me over wheeling groceries out of the backroom...lol...he looks at me and says "you gone help me with this"...I say "ummm, no, do I look like I lift that kind of stuff"...lol...you know I had to be a smart ass...who would I be if I wasn't....so this particular day, I'm in the mood for small talk, so I tell him that I'm disappointed that the store doesn't sell wine, he tells me that I can vote for it in the near future...I leave...
Ok, I go BACK to the grocery store the very next day, this time, I needed groceries...lol...ok, maybe I had a dual purpose...before I go to the store, I call store to see if Antwone was working that night...lol...nice move huh...so of course I knew he'd be there...so I traipse on in the store and pick up the things that I need, however, I don't see Antowne...so I take one more lap around the store and then give up...maybe some other day...when I get to the register, the man at the checkout was making conversation with me...not "that" kind of conversation, just general convo, so I ask him what manager was on duty...he says a name that's unfamiliar to me, so I say hmm....that's not who I was looking for, I continue to tell him that there was a gentleman who was working the night before and I just wanted to say hey...so the clerk says, "oh, Mr. Jones, want me to call him for you"...so I'm like, sure, I'll just say hey since I'm here...so silly me, I'm thinking that when he picks up the phone, he's calling the back or something for Mr. Jones...ummmm...NO...this fool gets on the intercom, yes, intercom and says "Mr. Jones, customer assistance on register 3, Mr. Jones, customer assistance on register 3"...needless to say, I was quite embarrassed...lol...oh well, so here comes Mr. Jones...he walks toward me smiling and shakes my hand...
So I say, hey, it's good to see you, he says "it's GREAT to see you"....I'm like hmm..."great"..alrighty...lol...so we walk outside and I play the whole, I'm new to the city, what is there to do around here card...LOL...I'll be using that for at least a year....he says that he doesn't go out much because he works in the evenings, but would give me a call when he hears about something, I'm like cool, sounds good...so about an hour later, he texts me so that I have his number...we do a 1 or 2 text chat, nothing interesting...ok, so he finds me on facebook, I accept him...he looks through my pics, after doing such, he lets me know that I have an attractive family, that we seem close from the pics, he notices that my dad is a twin and comments on that, he also says that I appear to have a lot of fun and that I'm full of life...so, I think Antwone is observant and has taken an interest in learning more about me prior to us having a conversation....ok, so now comes the time when I drill him about his stats...so he's 32/33, single, has worked at his current job for 6+ yrs, he's born & raised in Dallas, just got out of a FIFTEEN year relationship 6 moths ago...you thought that was the shocker right, ok, well here's another....are you ready for this??...are you sure??....he's a father of....FOUR....dayum...really, can I seriously involve myself with a man that has FOUR kids??....seriously...ranging from 14 yrs old to 3...umm....ummm....ummm....FOUR....I mean, I'd hate to just throw the brother to the side, but FOUR...DAYUM....that is all....I just don't know what to say about this....any thoughts??!!
I go on my first grocery shopping trip and notice Antwone...he's cute, probably about my height, nice smile, light-skinned and continuously asked me if I needed help finding anything in the store...I wasn't really in the mood to make small talk, but I wasn't blind...lol...so my second trip in the store..I'm in there to pick up cards and Antwone almost runs me over wheeling groceries out of the backroom...lol...he looks at me and says "you gone help me with this"...I say "ummm, no, do I look like I lift that kind of stuff"...lol...you know I had to be a smart ass...who would I be if I wasn't....so this particular day, I'm in the mood for small talk, so I tell him that I'm disappointed that the store doesn't sell wine, he tells me that I can vote for it in the near future...I leave...
Ok, I go BACK to the grocery store the very next day, this time, I needed groceries...lol...ok, maybe I had a dual purpose...before I go to the store, I call store to see if Antwone was working that night...lol...nice move huh...so of course I knew he'd be there...so I traipse on in the store and pick up the things that I need, however, I don't see Antowne...so I take one more lap around the store and then give up...maybe some other day...when I get to the register, the man at the checkout was making conversation with me...not "that" kind of conversation, just general convo, so I ask him what manager was on duty...he says a name that's unfamiliar to me, so I say hmm....that's not who I was looking for, I continue to tell him that there was a gentleman who was working the night before and I just wanted to say hey...so the clerk says, "oh, Mr. Jones, want me to call him for you"...so I'm like, sure, I'll just say hey since I'm here...so silly me, I'm thinking that when he picks up the phone, he's calling the back or something for Mr. Jones...ummmm...NO...this fool gets on the intercom, yes, intercom and says "Mr. Jones, customer assistance on register 3, Mr. Jones, customer assistance on register 3"...needless to say, I was quite embarrassed...lol...oh well, so here comes Mr. Jones...he walks toward me smiling and shakes my hand...
So I say, hey, it's good to see you, he says "it's GREAT to see you"....I'm like hmm..."great"..alrighty...lol...so we walk outside and I play the whole, I'm new to the city, what is there to do around here card...LOL...I'll be using that for at least a year....he says that he doesn't go out much because he works in the evenings, but would give me a call when he hears about something, I'm like cool, sounds good...so about an hour later, he texts me so that I have his number...we do a 1 or 2 text chat, nothing interesting...ok, so he finds me on facebook, I accept him...he looks through my pics, after doing such, he lets me know that I have an attractive family, that we seem close from the pics, he notices that my dad is a twin and comments on that, he also says that I appear to have a lot of fun and that I'm full of life...so, I think Antwone is observant and has taken an interest in learning more about me prior to us having a conversation....ok, so now comes the time when I drill him about his stats...so he's 32/33, single, has worked at his current job for 6+ yrs, he's born & raised in Dallas, just got out of a FIFTEEN year relationship 6 moths ago...you thought that was the shocker right, ok, well here's another....are you ready for this??...are you sure??....he's a father of....FOUR....dayum...really, can I seriously involve myself with a man that has FOUR kids??....seriously...ranging from 14 yrs old to 3...umm....ummm....ummm....FOUR....I mean, I'd hate to just throw the brother to the side, but FOUR...DAYUM....that is all....I just don't know what to say about this....any thoughts??!!
What ever happened to Mike?!?!?....
Ok, so Mike...or as one of my friends calls him, the "baby" man...lol...ok, so after that last phone call my interaction with Mike has been quite limited...he's hit me up a few times via text and phone...invited me out a couple of times, but to be honest, I just haven't had time, although I'm a firm believer that you make time for the things that are important to you...riiiigght...LOL...
The last 2 times I've talked to Mike, he hasn't said "baby", so that's cool...but he did something else to turn me off (poor Mike)...he asks me to come out and meet him tonight at the place we met a couple of weeks ago and I tell him that I have dinner plans...so later in the evening, I call him to ask him how the event was (I was in a good mood...lol)...he said that it was "off the chain"....then he asks me how my date was...so I say, "what date"....he says, "you said you had dinner plans"...I say, "I did have dinner plans"...he says, "oh, I assumed it was a date"...I say, "that's what you get for assuming"....I don't like that, I mean, just because I tell you that I have plans, it doesn't mean it's a date, it could mean that, but if you want to know if I was on a date, just ask...I mean seriously....I don't have time for reverse psychology...I will say that Mike is persistent...I'm not sure how interested I am in hanging out with him again, but we'll see...I may be a good mood one day....lol...stay tuned on this too...
The last 2 times I've talked to Mike, he hasn't said "baby", so that's cool...but he did something else to turn me off (poor Mike)...he asks me to come out and meet him tonight at the place we met a couple of weeks ago and I tell him that I have dinner plans...so later in the evening, I call him to ask him how the event was (I was in a good mood...lol)...he said that it was "off the chain"....then he asks me how my date was...so I say, "what date"....he says, "you said you had dinner plans"...I say, "I did have dinner plans"...he says, "oh, I assumed it was a date"...I say, "that's what you get for assuming"....I don't like that, I mean, just because I tell you that I have plans, it doesn't mean it's a date, it could mean that, but if you want to know if I was on a date, just ask...I mean seriously....I don't have time for reverse psychology...I will say that Mike is persistent...I'm not sure how interested I am in hanging out with him again, but we'll see...I may be a good mood one day....lol...stay tuned on this too...
Justin - Pt 2....
So, after loads of opinions and advice on the Justin situation, I'd somehow convinced myself that I could be friends with him, hang out in group settings, occasional phone conversations, etc...hmm...so let me tell you how that worked out....
Justin and I had our first phone conversation last week...it was pretty laid back...talked about furniture and of course, I inquired about the separation, the living situation, the reasoning behind it all, etc....during the conversation, I felt nothing for him, I didn't feel that spark that felt when we first met...so in some way I thought to myself, hmmm, maybe I can be his friend without any issues...so, the following day, Justin invites me and my friends to a baseball game...I agreed, so it was me, Justin and my friend....
Ok, so we get to the baseball game, we greet one another, get to our seats...everything was cool...as the game progresses, we're chatting, laughing, etc...I find myself having lustful thoughts about this man..anyone that knows me, knows that I'm a very touchy-feely person, however, on this day, the only thing I touched was my purse...why you ask?....because I wanted him and wanted him badly...at that moment, I realized that I was a fool to think that I could be friends with him, that we could hang out, ummm, not so much...and to make matters worse, you know how the camera comes around to all the fans, I didn't want to be seen with him, which further let me know that this little interaction could be no more....so the game ends and he drives us to my car, in the front seat (I'm nosy), I see a realtor book...so I casually say, "oh, you're moving", he says "I looked at some houses today"....so, the optimist in me wants to believe that he's taking a step in the right direction, however, there's a part of me that wonders if him and his wife were looking for a house together...LOL...nutz right...to be continued...
So, since the game, I've struggled with trying to find a balance between being firm with Justin while also trying not to be a major bia-bia...my thoughts are that I don't want to just be mean/rude to him or turn him completely off, in the event that he is actually making progress, however, I want him to take me seriously about not being interested in being a mistress...lol...so, he texts me asking me what I was cooking for dinner one night...my first thought was to say "whatever you wife is cooking", but again, trying to keep that balance, I go ahead and tell him what I'm cooking...after that, he says "did you forget to invite me"...I say "no, actually it was intentional"...he says that my response made him sad...I say "you're not the only one"...lol...I felt kinda bad about that communication, but hey, I had to be firm...
The last communication from Justin was a happy birthday text message...seeing as he's not on facebook, I must admit I found it quite thoughtful and sweet that he remembered my birthday...my only response to him was "thanks for remembering, Justin"....one day, maybe one day, the text I get from Justin will say "hey, I filed for divorce today" or "I moved out"...until then, I will respond to his random messages (I'm sure he'll send them from time to time) with one or two word answers and if he gets out of pocket, I'll have to revert back to being firm....stay tuned on this...
Justin and I had our first phone conversation last week...it was pretty laid back...talked about furniture and of course, I inquired about the separation, the living situation, the reasoning behind it all, etc....during the conversation, I felt nothing for him, I didn't feel that spark that felt when we first met...so in some way I thought to myself, hmmm, maybe I can be his friend without any issues...so, the following day, Justin invites me and my friends to a baseball game...I agreed, so it was me, Justin and my friend....
Ok, so we get to the baseball game, we greet one another, get to our seats...everything was cool...as the game progresses, we're chatting, laughing, etc...I find myself having lustful thoughts about this man..anyone that knows me, knows that I'm a very touchy-feely person, however, on this day, the only thing I touched was my purse...why you ask?....because I wanted him and wanted him badly...at that moment, I realized that I was a fool to think that I could be friends with him, that we could hang out, ummm, not so much...and to make matters worse, you know how the camera comes around to all the fans, I didn't want to be seen with him, which further let me know that this little interaction could be no more....so the game ends and he drives us to my car, in the front seat (I'm nosy), I see a realtor book...so I casually say, "oh, you're moving", he says "I looked at some houses today"....so, the optimist in me wants to believe that he's taking a step in the right direction, however, there's a part of me that wonders if him and his wife were looking for a house together...LOL...nutz right...to be continued...
So, since the game, I've struggled with trying to find a balance between being firm with Justin while also trying not to be a major bia-bia...my thoughts are that I don't want to just be mean/rude to him or turn him completely off, in the event that he is actually making progress, however, I want him to take me seriously about not being interested in being a mistress...lol...so, he texts me asking me what I was cooking for dinner one night...my first thought was to say "whatever you wife is cooking", but again, trying to keep that balance, I go ahead and tell him what I'm cooking...after that, he says "did you forget to invite me"...I say "no, actually it was intentional"...he says that my response made him sad...I say "you're not the only one"...lol...I felt kinda bad about that communication, but hey, I had to be firm...
The last communication from Justin was a happy birthday text message...seeing as he's not on facebook, I must admit I found it quite thoughtful and sweet that he remembered my birthday...my only response to him was "thanks for remembering, Justin"....one day, maybe one day, the text I get from Justin will say "hey, I filed for divorce today" or "I moved out"...until then, I will respond to his random messages (I'm sure he'll send them from time to time) with one or two word answers and if he gets out of pocket, I'll have to revert back to being firm....stay tuned on this...
Sunday, May 9, 2010
The Male Perspective...So Far....
So, Dr. Bob read my blog this evening and offered to give the male perspective on Justin, Mike, Charles and yep, you guessed it...ME!...keep in mind, tonight is the first conversation I've had with Dr. Bob, via a friend of mine...his thoughts on Justin: only interested in sex, Mike: seems questionable, but not sure why, Charles: give a shot for wisdom....I told him Charles is so old news...lol...Mike is still in the game, but currently warming the bench and Justin, aahh Justin...well, he texted me in the midst of this conversation "just thinkin about you...."....I'll admit, it made me smile, but after further consideration, I'm putting Justin in the "maybe later in life" file, as one of my readers suggested....
Now, Dr. Bob's perspective on me....lol....was quite entertaining actually....he first suggested that I freeze my eggs within the next 2 yrs...LOL....they're more effective in your 20's....then he said that unsuccessful men will be (are) intimidated by me....women come a dime a dozen and he hopes that I'm fine with my expectations because it may take me some time find Mr. Right.....
The other male perspective came from my "baby friend"....he said leave Justin alone, he's drama in the making...he did give me swag points for the way I approached Justin....he appreciated me setting "friendship hours" for Mike, although Mike didn't appreciate them....he said leave the old men alone (Charles)...lol....his perspective on me....life experiences have made me hyper selective and that he's afraid that I will go (have gone) into situations with the mindset that one is like the other....I disagreed, of course...I told him that when I tell a man what I'm looking for, they always default to the "oh, that's me", when in actuality, that's rarely the case...I told him that I don't feel as though I go into new situations thinking that they'll be like the last, I think that I'm very open, however, I do pick up on things quicker and quicker each time...he also said that "happiness and fulfillment starts and ends with God then self"....I was feelin that...he may get promoted from "baby friend" status...
Now, Dr. Bob's perspective on me....lol....was quite entertaining actually....he first suggested that I freeze my eggs within the next 2 yrs...LOL....they're more effective in your 20's....then he said that unsuccessful men will be (are) intimidated by me....women come a dime a dozen and he hopes that I'm fine with my expectations because it may take me some time find Mr. Right.....
The other male perspective came from my "baby friend"....he said leave Justin alone, he's drama in the making...he did give me swag points for the way I approached Justin....he appreciated me setting "friendship hours" for Mike, although Mike didn't appreciate them....he said leave the old men alone (Charles)...lol....his perspective on me....life experiences have made me hyper selective and that he's afraid that I will go (have gone) into situations with the mindset that one is like the other....I disagreed, of course...I told him that when I tell a man what I'm looking for, they always default to the "oh, that's me", when in actuality, that's rarely the case...I told him that I don't feel as though I go into new situations thinking that they'll be like the last, I think that I'm very open, however, I do pick up on things quicker and quicker each time...he also said that "happiness and fulfillment starts and ends with God then self"....I was feelin that...he may get promoted from "baby friend" status...
3 of 3 - Justin, 32yo, Separated, Father of 1....
Justin
Justin, Justin, Justin...aahhh, where do I begin...LOL...ok, Dallas has day parties pretty much every weekend and I attend them because I enjoy them, almost more than the club!...ok, so I get to the day party yesterday and I walk in and see this guy sitting solo...being friendly, I go over, introduce myself and ask him if he wants to come sit with me...I was thinking that maybe he was new to the area and got invited by someone, so I was trying to make him feel more comfy...so he comes to sit with me, I order some food and an adult bev....we begin talkin...yea, I'm kind of checkin him out cause he's a cutie...to me anyway...he had this kinda Mos Def, Common vibe about himself...+dimples..yummy!...naw, he don't look like Common, if he did...hmph...anywho...he just had that kinda vibe goin, so as we talk, I begin grillin him....askin all the important stuff....in the midst of our convo I learn that Justin is 32, has a 3yo son, has been married for 2.5yrs, separated for 6months, but still lives in the house with the wife...WTH?!?!....according to Justin, he lives on one end of the house and her on the other...
I also learn that Justin is of West Indian descent, from NY, oldest of 3, he's a sales/marketing manager, his parents have been married 38yrs and also live here in Dallas...so of course I ask him why doesn't he just go and live with his parents....his answer is that he doesn't want to disrespect their home by coming and going...late nights, etc....I'm like hmm...well, this is interesting....he pretty much has that East Coast attitude of...this is my situation either deal with it or not...which I can respect, even though I don't like it....so Justin and I's conversation goes on for another 3+ hours...we discuss the dating situation in Dallas, how the women are money hungry and how the men try to stunt..which I've actually seen in action...sidebar - do you know these fools actually rent cars down here on the weekend to impress chicks...smh...ok, I'm back....so the night ends...Justin picks up my tab, which I shol appreciate..lol...he walks me to my car and asks for my num...
Ok guys...here is where I have my moral dilemma...can I give Justin my number and we remain friends or should I just walk away from this man that I had great conversation with...what to do, what to do...so, when he asks for my number I say to him...Justin, I can see how this is gonna play out....we'll start hangin out as friends, I'll either fall for you or you for me or both and then in 2months you'll tell me that you and your wife have reconciled or she'll be pregnant and then I'll be drunk on the corner sangin the blues...lol....he cracks UP....so...I hesitantly give Justin my number...why, I'm not sure, maybe because I felt a real connection with him, I enjoyed his vibe and I'm thinkin that this could be someone that I can hang with, but I'd have to keep my emotions/feelings in check...hmm...I don't know...tough call..
So needless to say, Justin and I aren't ready to end this night...maybe because we both know this may be the one and only time we get to spend like this...who knows...so I follow him to the gas station so that we can figure out where we would head next, i.e., another bar, lounge, etc...we end up sittin in the gas station parking lot...in our separate cars, talkin for another hour...crazy huh?!?!...so I get to a point where I tell Justin that I need to go...I go through this whole, I really enjoyed your company, it was great meeting you, blah, blah, blah...this fool says, I feel like you're breaking up with me...LOL...I was dying....I finally pull off....really not wanting to, if I can be honest with you guys...I can right...ok, I wanted to invite Justin back to my place, crack open a bottle of wine and let the rest be history...LMAO...but, obviously that wouldn't have been good...so, I leave asking God why He's punishing me...LOL...bringin this tasty treat to me and I can't indulge...ugh...
I get home and get comfy and Justin calls...yea, I'm excited...he just wants to make sure I made it in safely and that was the end of that....so I lay there and think about him and why this has to be his situation...this is driving me nuts...as I'm laying there thinking...my phone rings again...and it's Mike...who?!?!...LOL...just playin...Mike says, hey, are you sleep...I say yea..he says...are you dreaming about me...I say ummm....no...LMAO....why do these folks want you to lie to them?!?!?....
So today I wake up, still thinkin of Justin...pissed off...I call my friends and ask their perspective...I got split advice...proceed with caution and stay away.....maybe Justin won't call and we just had our one night of connection and I'll soon forget all about him....what are your thoughts?!?!?!
Justin, Justin, Justin...aahhh, where do I begin...LOL...ok, Dallas has day parties pretty much every weekend and I attend them because I enjoy them, almost more than the club!...ok, so I get to the day party yesterday and I walk in and see this guy sitting solo...being friendly, I go over, introduce myself and ask him if he wants to come sit with me...I was thinking that maybe he was new to the area and got invited by someone, so I was trying to make him feel more comfy...so he comes to sit with me, I order some food and an adult bev....we begin talkin...yea, I'm kind of checkin him out cause he's a cutie...to me anyway...he had this kinda Mos Def, Common vibe about himself...+dimples..yummy!...naw, he don't look like Common, if he did...hmph...anywho...he just had that kinda vibe goin, so as we talk, I begin grillin him....askin all the important stuff....in the midst of our convo I learn that Justin is 32, has a 3yo son, has been married for 2.5yrs, separated for 6months, but still lives in the house with the wife...WTH?!?!....according to Justin, he lives on one end of the house and her on the other...
I also learn that Justin is of West Indian descent, from NY, oldest of 3, he's a sales/marketing manager, his parents have been married 38yrs and also live here in Dallas...so of course I ask him why doesn't he just go and live with his parents....his answer is that he doesn't want to disrespect their home by coming and going...late nights, etc....I'm like hmm...well, this is interesting....he pretty much has that East Coast attitude of...this is my situation either deal with it or not...which I can respect, even though I don't like it....so Justin and I's conversation goes on for another 3+ hours...we discuss the dating situation in Dallas, how the women are money hungry and how the men try to stunt..which I've actually seen in action...sidebar - do you know these fools actually rent cars down here on the weekend to impress chicks...smh...ok, I'm back....so the night ends...Justin picks up my tab, which I shol appreciate..lol...he walks me to my car and asks for my num...
Ok guys...here is where I have my moral dilemma...can I give Justin my number and we remain friends or should I just walk away from this man that I had great conversation with...what to do, what to do...so, when he asks for my number I say to him...Justin, I can see how this is gonna play out....we'll start hangin out as friends, I'll either fall for you or you for me or both and then in 2months you'll tell me that you and your wife have reconciled or she'll be pregnant and then I'll be drunk on the corner sangin the blues...lol....he cracks UP....so...I hesitantly give Justin my number...why, I'm not sure, maybe because I felt a real connection with him, I enjoyed his vibe and I'm thinkin that this could be someone that I can hang with, but I'd have to keep my emotions/feelings in check...hmm...I don't know...tough call..
So needless to say, Justin and I aren't ready to end this night...maybe because we both know this may be the one and only time we get to spend like this...who knows...so I follow him to the gas station so that we can figure out where we would head next, i.e., another bar, lounge, etc...we end up sittin in the gas station parking lot...in our separate cars, talkin for another hour...crazy huh?!?!...so I get to a point where I tell Justin that I need to go...I go through this whole, I really enjoyed your company, it was great meeting you, blah, blah, blah...this fool says, I feel like you're breaking up with me...LOL...I was dying....I finally pull off....really not wanting to, if I can be honest with you guys...I can right...ok, I wanted to invite Justin back to my place, crack open a bottle of wine and let the rest be history...LMAO...but, obviously that wouldn't have been good...so, I leave asking God why He's punishing me...LOL...bringin this tasty treat to me and I can't indulge...ugh...
I get home and get comfy and Justin calls...yea, I'm excited...he just wants to make sure I made it in safely and that was the end of that....so I lay there and think about him and why this has to be his situation...this is driving me nuts...as I'm laying there thinking...my phone rings again...and it's Mike...who?!?!...LOL...just playin...Mike says, hey, are you sleep...I say yea..he says...are you dreaming about me...I say ummm....no...LMAO....why do these folks want you to lie to them?!?!?....
So today I wake up, still thinkin of Justin...pissed off...I call my friends and ask their perspective...I got split advice...proceed with caution and stay away.....maybe Justin won't call and we just had our one night of connection and I'll soon forget all about him....what are your thoughts?!?!?!
2 of 3...Mike - The 39yo, Father of 2...
Mike
I met Mike at a day party on the patio...he was staring at me, making silly faces and I'm like what, can I help you...lol...being funny, not mean...he starts moving his lips and I say, I can't understand you, so I get up and go sit next to him...we go through the normal: name, where you from, what you do, blah, blah, blah...Mike is 6'3, prolly 200lbs (at most), chocolate, clean shaven, nice shades, decent fit..decent teeth..I learn that Mike has 2 children, he's 39, used to be in the Airforce, and he's never been married...Mike tells me how pretty I am and says, I'm gonna give you my number so you can call me...I really should've got up at that time, but instead I say, I'm not gonna call you, but you can call me...so I give him my number, he does the same thing (calls to make sure it's the right number)...he says, if I don't call you tonight, call me, I say nope, if you want to talk to me, you'll call...and I walk off.
Mike calls everyday, around the same time and sends a text every morning. So, he's not calling too much....that's not my issue with Mike...my issue with Mike is that every other word is baby this, baby that (mind you, I've known Mike for a week, today)...I feel like he don't know me like that to be "baby-ing" me...but then I think...maybe that's just the way he talks...we have decent conversation...we talk about life, never talk too long, so here comes the weekend and Mike wants to see me....this is where it goes downhill for him...
Thursday Mike says to me...I'd like to see you this weekend, I'm like, that's cool, what did you have in mind...he says, what's your availability...so I tell him that I'm free Saturday before 5 and Sunday after 12...he says, "oh, I get the friendship hours"....WTH...Mike is not headed in the right direction with me....some folks would die for this time and you complaining, so anyway, I ask him what hours would he prefer, he's on this whole, nevermind, it's cool, I'll take the "friendship" hours....I'm like whatever, but I must admit, I'm a little agged....so Friday comes along and this fool asks me again as if my answer would change...so he says, I guess we can do lunch or somethin, but he says it in a negative tone...I mean damn, what's wrong with lunch for a first date???!!....so, I address his attitude about his time slot....lol, ok now that was funny....and he says, I don't like having any time contraints....ummm...Mike, I've known you less than a WEEK, seriously, you givin me rules and shit...naw, not cool....so we agree on lunch....
It's Saturday morning and Mike calls for our lunch date....he asks me what time, I say noon, he says cool...Mike calls back and says, aaww, my sister has my truck and she won't be back by noon...I say, well that's fine....thinking to myself, surely this isn't his way of asking me to pick him up or to come chill at his crib....lol....I'm prepared to go on about the rest of my day...Mike calls back again..hits me with this whole, I really miss you (really Mike, it's not even been a week), I really want to see you, blah, blah, blah...so he says, let's meet downtown...I'm like cool....I meet Mike downtown at The House of Blues...he takes the train down there because he wanted to keep his word....he gets a couple of points for that, however, why the hell would you let someone borrow your vehicle if you have plans...hmmm....anywho...lunch was cool...conversation was cool...he was still on this whole baby this, baby that....which was really starting to bother me....over lunch, I learn that Mike has 3 siblings, he's the youngest, his parents are deceased...father died of cancer, mother was accidentally shot by her father when Mike was 3, so he was raised by his father and step-mother (who he strongly dislikes)....his story is touching, but I'm not really feeling a vibe with Mike...he's cool and that's about it...we finish lunch, he walks me out to my car...asks for a kiss....ummm...I give him a g-ma peck...LMAO...he didn't like that...and then I go on about my day....
That's all about Mike for now....you'll hear his name again when I discuss this 3rd dude....
I met Mike at a day party on the patio...he was staring at me, making silly faces and I'm like what, can I help you...lol...being funny, not mean...he starts moving his lips and I say, I can't understand you, so I get up and go sit next to him...we go through the normal: name, where you from, what you do, blah, blah, blah...Mike is 6'3, prolly 200lbs (at most), chocolate, clean shaven, nice shades, decent fit..decent teeth..I learn that Mike has 2 children, he's 39, used to be in the Airforce, and he's never been married...Mike tells me how pretty I am and says, I'm gonna give you my number so you can call me...I really should've got up at that time, but instead I say, I'm not gonna call you, but you can call me...so I give him my number, he does the same thing (calls to make sure it's the right number)...he says, if I don't call you tonight, call me, I say nope, if you want to talk to me, you'll call...and I walk off.
Mike calls everyday, around the same time and sends a text every morning. So, he's not calling too much....that's not my issue with Mike...my issue with Mike is that every other word is baby this, baby that (mind you, I've known Mike for a week, today)...I feel like he don't know me like that to be "baby-ing" me...but then I think...maybe that's just the way he talks...we have decent conversation...we talk about life, never talk too long, so here comes the weekend and Mike wants to see me....this is where it goes downhill for him...
Thursday Mike says to me...I'd like to see you this weekend, I'm like, that's cool, what did you have in mind...he says, what's your availability...so I tell him that I'm free Saturday before 5 and Sunday after 12...he says, "oh, I get the friendship hours"....WTH...Mike is not headed in the right direction with me....some folks would die for this time and you complaining, so anyway, I ask him what hours would he prefer, he's on this whole, nevermind, it's cool, I'll take the "friendship" hours....I'm like whatever, but I must admit, I'm a little agged....so Friday comes along and this fool asks me again as if my answer would change...so he says, I guess we can do lunch or somethin, but he says it in a negative tone...I mean damn, what's wrong with lunch for a first date???!!....so, I address his attitude about his time slot....lol, ok now that was funny....and he says, I don't like having any time contraints....ummm...Mike, I've known you less than a WEEK, seriously, you givin me rules and shit...naw, not cool....so we agree on lunch....
It's Saturday morning and Mike calls for our lunch date....he asks me what time, I say noon, he says cool...Mike calls back and says, aaww, my sister has my truck and she won't be back by noon...I say, well that's fine....thinking to myself, surely this isn't his way of asking me to pick him up or to come chill at his crib....lol....I'm prepared to go on about the rest of my day...Mike calls back again..hits me with this whole, I really miss you (really Mike, it's not even been a week), I really want to see you, blah, blah, blah...so he says, let's meet downtown...I'm like cool....I meet Mike downtown at The House of Blues...he takes the train down there because he wanted to keep his word....he gets a couple of points for that, however, why the hell would you let someone borrow your vehicle if you have plans...hmmm....anywho...lunch was cool...conversation was cool...he was still on this whole baby this, baby that....which was really starting to bother me....over lunch, I learn that Mike has 3 siblings, he's the youngest, his parents are deceased...father died of cancer, mother was accidentally shot by her father when Mike was 3, so he was raised by his father and step-mother (who he strongly dislikes)....his story is touching, but I'm not really feeling a vibe with Mike...he's cool and that's about it...we finish lunch, he walks me out to my car...asks for a kiss....ummm...I give him a g-ma peck...LMAO...he didn't like that...and then I go on about my day....
That's all about Mike for now....you'll hear his name again when I discuss this 3rd dude....
1 of 3 - Charles, the 45yo, Retired Military Man...
I've given my number to 3 guys here in DFW...I'll go through each one of them...I'll give you their background, how we met, and my thoughts....
Charles
Charles and I met at a fight party...I sat down next to him (not because I was interested, but because there was no where else to sit)...we sat there and watched the fight, I gave him a once-over...nice watch, nice shoes, clean-cut....as the fight went on, I asked questions about the match, etc. (I'm not a sports person)...he then begin to inquire about my personal life: are you single, you must be gettin a lot of numbers around here, I'd like to take you out some time, etc....so, he asked for my number and I'm like...umm...ok....strike 1: when I gave him my number, he immediately called my cell to make sure it was the right number and then told me to save his name as "your future husband"...ugh...that is not cute, is that your game or somethin...then I learned that he was 45...DAYUM...that's a 18year old age gap...you could be my daddy...so he leaves the fight, sends a me a "it was nice meeting you" text...I didn't reply...
I believe he calls the next day and on the phone, he sounds like a 45 year-old man...he sounded all gruff, wasn't really talkin about much, I was disengaged from the conversation...he called again the next day (mind you, I've yet to call him)...I was heading home from an event and he says to me "where you at"...I'm like, headed home...he says "I might be behind you"...I'm like huh?!, what would make you think that (he's never seen my car)....his answer, "I was just tryin to be funny"...well, it wasn't funny...I didn't actually say that, I just said "Oh"...at this point, I'm really not feelin dude, but don't want to be mean...he calls one other time and then that was it....thank God....it had a natural "ending"...moving on...
Charles
Charles and I met at a fight party...I sat down next to him (not because I was interested, but because there was no where else to sit)...we sat there and watched the fight, I gave him a once-over...nice watch, nice shoes, clean-cut....as the fight went on, I asked questions about the match, etc. (I'm not a sports person)...he then begin to inquire about my personal life: are you single, you must be gettin a lot of numbers around here, I'd like to take you out some time, etc....so, he asked for my number and I'm like...umm...ok....strike 1: when I gave him my number, he immediately called my cell to make sure it was the right number and then told me to save his name as "your future husband"...ugh...that is not cute, is that your game or somethin...then I learned that he was 45...DAYUM...that's a 18year old age gap...you could be my daddy...so he leaves the fight, sends a me a "it was nice meeting you" text...I didn't reply...
I believe he calls the next day and on the phone, he sounds like a 45 year-old man...he sounded all gruff, wasn't really talkin about much, I was disengaged from the conversation...he called again the next day (mind you, I've yet to call him)...I was heading home from an event and he says to me "where you at"...I'm like, headed home...he says "I might be behind you"...I'm like huh?!, what would make you think that (he's never seen my car)....his answer, "I was just tryin to be funny"...well, it wasn't funny...I didn't actually say that, I just said "Oh"...at this point, I'm really not feelin dude, but don't want to be mean...he calls one other time and then that was it....thank God....it had a natural "ending"...moving on...
Question of the Month: "Damn Gurl, Why You Sinlge".....
So, I've been here in Dallas for about a month and I continuously get asked why I'm single....I started to write, "the answer is simple", but truth be told, it's really not...I'm quite complicated. Before I moved, I told myself that I was going to internally change my relationship thought process, that I would start being honest with myself about the things that I want, don't want, like, don't like, etc. In doing that, I've had to be mean to folks, hurt self-esteems, and break hearts, which contrary to popular belief, is something I really hate doing. But, at the end of the day, my happiness will probably out-weigh someones that hasn't had a major impact in my life.
What makes me complicated?....well, when it comes to letting people in my life (men and women), I'm pretty selective. There was a day when I'd give anyone a shot, but I've been burned too many time to continue that practice, so, if I pick up a bad vibe during the first interaction, I probably won't go back for seconds.
What I look for in men?....lol...this is a funny question that I ask myself...ok, I'll take a stab at it....I like a man that is appropriately aggressive, confident, not cocky, ambitious, secure in who he is, a Christian, loves his family, respectful, attractive (in my eyes), takes an interest in his appearance, one that exudes positive energy, a lover of music, one that is social to some degree (not necessarily as much as I am), one that can wear many hats (attend a corporate function, go to a hole-in-the-wall in the hood, knows which fork to use at a pre-set table, puts hot sauce on his catfish, listens to: Tupac, Gucci Mane, Nora Jones), one with a natural sense of humor (no "knock-knock" jokes...not funny!), one that looks at me as more than a piece of meat that he can't wait to bite in to, one that allows things to move naturally and can read me...ok, there's plenty more, but I'll leave it at that...my next blog will discuss the 3 men that I've met in the last month.
What makes me complicated?....well, when it comes to letting people in my life (men and women), I'm pretty selective. There was a day when I'd give anyone a shot, but I've been burned too many time to continue that practice, so, if I pick up a bad vibe during the first interaction, I probably won't go back for seconds.
What I look for in men?....lol...this is a funny question that I ask myself...ok, I'll take a stab at it....I like a man that is appropriately aggressive, confident, not cocky, ambitious, secure in who he is, a Christian, loves his family, respectful, attractive (in my eyes), takes an interest in his appearance, one that exudes positive energy, a lover of music, one that is social to some degree (not necessarily as much as I am), one that can wear many hats (attend a corporate function, go to a hole-in-the-wall in the hood, knows which fork to use at a pre-set table, puts hot sauce on his catfish, listens to: Tupac, Gucci Mane, Nora Jones), one with a natural sense of humor (no "knock-knock" jokes...not funny!), one that looks at me as more than a piece of meat that he can't wait to bite in to, one that allows things to move naturally and can read me...ok, there's plenty more, but I'll leave it at that...my next blog will discuss the 3 men that I've met in the last month.
Welcome!
Greetings!
This is the first time I've ever seriously considered doing something like this. The inspiration came from my closest friends, those involved in the day-to-day events that take place in my life. Some of the things that happen or that I experience are so unreal, that I'm always amazed. This blog is not for folks that are easily offended or sensitive, as I will say whatever is on my mind in whichever way I choose. I welcome constructive criticism and enjoy healthy debate.
When I refer to the people in my life, they're names will be masked, as I'd like to keep some things private. I'm a very open person that enjoys sharing my experiences with others either to help them or entertain them! Please feel free to comment away and I will respect you as long as you respect me!
I hope you enjoy My Life - Your Entertainment!
This is the first time I've ever seriously considered doing something like this. The inspiration came from my closest friends, those involved in the day-to-day events that take place in my life. Some of the things that happen or that I experience are so unreal, that I'm always amazed. This blog is not for folks that are easily offended or sensitive, as I will say whatever is on my mind in whichever way I choose. I welcome constructive criticism and enjoy healthy debate.
When I refer to the people in my life, they're names will be masked, as I'd like to keep some things private. I'm a very open person that enjoys sharing my experiences with others either to help them or entertain them! Please feel free to comment away and I will respect you as long as you respect me!
I hope you enjoy My Life - Your Entertainment!
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